Present Over Perfect – Day 11

If you’re reading along on the schedule, today is Sunday and we’re starting Part 2 on page 67 – Tunnels.

I’ve decided to actually practice the theme of this book on slowing down and listening and connecting. So, today there will be no video. Only a few simple observations from our reading.

#1 – I have crazy brain. Amen? Amen.

#2 – I’ve had my own tunnel moments over the years where I’ve been the one saying, “Something needs to change. I can’t live like this anymore. We can’t. They can’t.” Those have been defining moments where life shakes me enough to find a new solution. I’m thankful for God bringing me to those moments and I realize sometimes that is what it takes for me to change.

#3 – One of the secrets in making a life change to be present over perfect involves spending regular quiet time with God. THIS is what makes a difference. THIS is where God changes us, from the inside out. This is nothing new, but something we so easily give up to the distractions of this world.

~Starr

> Present Over Perfect Book Club Schedule <

Missed any previous days in the study? You can view them all here: www.thedailystarrbookclub.com

4 thoughts on “Present Over Perfect – Day 11

  1. I can relate somewhat to the author. I was in my thirties before i overcame the fear of speaking in public, or in front of large groups. I never felt good enough or smart enough, thinking that everyone would be smarter or better, embarrassing me. What I finally determined was that I am pretty average. I will most likely be smarter than half the crowd and not as smart or good as the other half. I even see the experts making mistakes in public, and life goes on. God helped me to overcome these fears and to excel in my job, many times speaking in front of very large crowds. I am still most comfortable in the background, being a worker bee but I can lead when needed. I don’t want or need the public attention or approval. Let others have that honor if that is what they need to feel worthy. Most of my gratification comes from an inner satisfaction that I have done my best and that I continue to look for ways to be better, never giving up.

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    1. Figuring out that we don’t need the approval of others is huge. Something that doesn’t come easy and is a struggle for me in so many ways. It’s never too late to learn and to follow a different path.

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  2. What a perfect timing to read this chapter in my life. Toward the end of last year, I started feeling an awakening, a period of realizing I am doing this all wrong. See, when my grandfather died right after Christmas last year, I felt an urge to speak at his funeral. I wanted to share a message of what I learned. Right before he passed away, I had thought about all the times we had together and tried to figure out if I ever spoke to him about God. I couldn’t remember if I did or not, so I ended up texting him while he was in the hospital. He had my aunt read him the text on 12/25/16. This is what my text said:

    “I am having a hard time speaking with my cold and since I am not sure if Grandpa is asleep / gets texts on his phone; can you read him this message? To the world’s #1 Grandpa: I am sorry I wasn’t well enough to come visit today. I wish you a very Merry Christmas. I pray that you get well soon as we look forward to celebrating Christmas together when you are able to come home. We couldn’t have asked God for a better Grandpa and we are blessed to receive such a special person in our lives. Hunter and Blake send their love and kisses. They hope you feel better soon too! I know we havent talked much about this, but I pray that you come to know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. I know I have been weak in my faith as I am human too and make mistakes / sometimes forget what really is important in life, but next time we talk, I need to tell you about the night that He saved me. I know He loves you and you have never been alone. We all love you!! Merry Christmas!!!!”

    Grandpa ended up replying with “That’s beautiful. I love you for the message you sent me. And I’d like to have a meeting with you about your beliefs. Love Grandpa.”

    Those ended up being our last words to each other as he died a few hours later on Saturday, 12/26. See, he was supposed to come home that Monday. None of us knew he would pass away during this hospital visit. So, I stood over his casket, crying, trying to get the words out – what we (speaking about me) are doing is not right. We are making ourselves so busy that we cannot find love for ourselves and in return cannot love others or spread the good news. We are keeping the good news a secret – as in my case….I have chosen to not live as though I believe (inadversently).

    I told my husband then that I wanted to change and needed to change. Well, that is something else that is crazy about me. When I attempt anything, it is all or nothing. When I try to change my diet, my goal ends up being quitting everything cold turkey. Just the thought of it makes me sad, so I end up benge eating the night before I start, which is always a Monday, the most depressing day of the week for me. Then I start the diet. Hours into my day, I am already stressed and looking for that relief. I end up saying – screw it. I wouldnt be able to do it anyway and even if so, I still wont feel pretty since I literally felt fat when I was a size 2 before I had kids. So I end up cheating on my diet and say I will try again, but not until next Monday.

    Well, here I am again. Realizing I still have not changed my life to put God at the head of my table. Right before reading this chapter, I felt like just walking out the door. My youngest was crying, my oldest was yelling at my youngest to stop crying, my husband was trying to take a shower and have some moments since he has been incredibly depressed lately with all the pain he has been in while being scared and all I cold think about is how life sucked. Earlier, I gave my youngest some food for him to eat on his own since he was crying, which he really doesn’t do much except lately. Well, of course he got it all over himself. While I did smile and laugh at him covered in food, it didn’t take long for that to die quickly when my hubby came in and saw the situation. Instead of choosing t see the fun, the laughter, the love, he saw extra work. Now, usually I am the one to see this being that I am OCD, but I didn’t until he did. I somehow fed off of his depression when I am supposed to be his rock during this time.

    I know God truly is the rock. I know I will push through this tough time. I know there is a silver lining out there somewhere. I want to think that maybe today is the day as my mother in law finally found her ex’s number to call to see if he has ever experienced what my hubby is going through as it might be cancer related. Upon calling him, she finally learned what was wrong with him, which part of it is that he is waiting on a liver transplant. While they talked, she was able to tell him that she forgave him too just as my hubby did. So, we learned that he did get my husband’s letter (as he was worried he wasnt able to read it) and my mother in law got to say her peace too. I feel like this information or opportunity may not have been there without my hubby’s condition. However, I pray that we see light at the end of the tunnel soon as we go to another doctor tomorrow. My hubby feels like he is at the edge of a cliff and even says that I should leave him. I keep reassuring him of God and of any positive thing I can say, but in reality, I just want to cry and fall alseep to numb the fear and saddness. I pray that I learn what this tunnel is teaching us quick so we can begin to see the light.

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    1. Pam, I have lots of nights where I want to walk out and take a break. I get frustrated with myself because I get so stinking frustrated with our kids so easily. Even tonight, I didn’t manage my time well and Brock was screaming and Brian was tending to the kids while I was scrambling to do my daily blog makeover (which I intended to do earlier today). Believe me, we all have our days. I know it’s been rough lately and you guys so desperately need answers. We have been lifting you and your family up. Know that, friend. I’m asking God to please hear our cries for healing and understanding and answers for Jesse. Your story about your grandpa was so touching. Thank you for sharing from your heart and your honesty. I’m thankful you are here. This study might not be for everyone, but friend – it is for me and you. Love you dearly!

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