Day 7: Why do I feel so dry?

Have you been there?

In a way, I’m there tonight. I can relate to this statement more than I care to admit:

Why did I spend all my time blessing blessed people who should be on the giving side of the equation by now? (Interrupted pg 7)

I lead worship in a small church. I also help teach Children’s Church. When you are part of a small church, you can easily get caught into wearing many hats. Maybe you’ve been there.

And I can relate to the fact that for most of my life, I’ve been part of a Pastor’s family. Church is part of my DNA. Even to this day, I don’t get the luxury of missing church – just because. Funny thing is, I actually enjoy church. Most days, there’s no where else I’d rather be.

But, why do I sometimes still feel so dry?

Why do I feel like a cheerleader trying to get people to understand the power of worship?

Why do we continually beg people to come to church, come to Sunday School, etc.?

Why do I feel so much pressure to constantly try and keep Christians happy so they won’t leave and go to another church?

Am I missing the mark?

What happened to church being more about Jesus and less about who’s upset and getting mad this week?

Maybe you haven’t seen this side of ministry if you aren’t involved in church leadership. I’ve been far too close for too many years to ignore these questions and frustrations.

I can see why someone would walk away and say, “I don’t need church if that is what church is all about.”

God, tonight I need to hear from You. There are things I don’t understand and questions I have. There is an emptiness and void that is deep in my soul – and I know only You can satisfy. Speak to me in a fresh way, through a fresh perspective. Open my eyes, open my ears. Help me listen closely for Your voice and direction. Work in the midst of our congregations to ask the tough questions and bring to light the purpose You have set before us. Lead us to a fresh anointing. Amen!

What stood out to you from today’s reading?

~Starr

12 thoughts on “Day 7: Why do I feel so dry?

  1. Starr, it is easy to get to the place where we spend our time trying to please others and try to keep everyone happy. You know by now that it isn’t possible to make everyone happy and there will always be people who come and go, no matter how hard we try to figure out what they need to be satisfied. Over the years I’ve given up trying to make everybody happy. I do my best, I try to sacrifice my own convenience and comfort to show my family and friends that they are more important to me than having my own way and above all I try my best to live a Christ centered life. I choose to be joyful, I choose to serve others when I can, I keep it simple and I don’t stress as much when I fail. I just start each day knowing that I have another chance to make a difference in someone’s life in a positive way.

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  2. You two ladies, Starr and Frieda are two of the most beautiful women I know. Selfless, loving, giving, and Christ-like.
    I want a new love for serving, I want it to be a love, not like a job that I do just because it needs to be done. I don’t sing well, but enjoy the choir-the praise-the passion, the love for my Lord. I have learned from your passion for praise, Starr. I also can see why people walk away from church. I want our church to be different. My prayer is that our church reaches people differently. That people see Jesus. That we show them we as a congregation love the Lord and eachother thru our actions.

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    1. Thank you for your sweet words, Melissa. I too want our church to be different. I want to reach people. I want people to see Jesus. God, help us to do whatever you set before us and let us see You like never before!

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  3. This chapter was my favorite. I can relate to it. I see how many times we have things at church and how only the same people show up. Why is that? I see during praise and worship people don’t worship why.?Sometimes I want to jump up and down and shout JESUS is here just worship him. Then God reminds me to stay focused on me not to worry about everyone else. I Pray for the Spirit to touch the congregation but I can’t let my focus get on them.

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    1. Yes, Karen – just stay focused on Jesus and not worry about everyone else. Sometimes we need to let Him do a work deep within us to prepare us for what is ahead. God, move within each of us and let that spill over into everything we do!

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  4. I love her transparency. When she speaks of having read her devotions, going through her Christian books, seing her Christian books, and “vomitting” it all up back to her friends, I could so relate to that. But then she went to the Word. Our Bread of Life–where she says “God and I have always done our most serious business.” I find that everything else I read is a wonderful enrichment but there is nothing NOTHING which gets to the heart and soul of a matter like God’s words to my needy heart. What a blessing.

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    1. So very true, Tracy! I can relate to this as well. If we get back to the Word and let it digest a bit, God will speak to us in ways we’ve never imagined! Thanks for sharing!

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  5. Yes, Freida…that’s how I’ve tried to be…and Freida, you do it beautifully! Starr…it’s a fact…20% of the people do 80% of the work, and those that don’t work are usually the ones gripping about what the others are doing. It is sad…and that sentence was shouting to me when I read it a few days ago…it is SO SAD, that we have to “feed” others when they should be feeding those who are starving.

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    1. YES – that one stuck out for me too! God, help us to have a holy passion. God, make us set apart. Don’t let us get distracted by those things that aren’t glorifying You. Help us to stay focused on what matters most!!

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  6. Those that know me know that I don’t know how to not be involved. I’ve had some ask if I can say the word “no”.

    Others that I worked with could not show up for whatever reason. But if I did that it would almost be the end of the world as we knew it.

    It’s hard when you want to be involved. But you also start to feel like you are burning out. You love helping and being part of the ministry. But you are missing being ministered to.

    Earlier this year I “retired” from several positions. Partially for my sanity. Partially because I knew I needed more. And more. So far in the readings I see the “more” I was desiring.

    More rambling thoughts from me

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    1. I love your rambling thoughts, Melissa. I too know exactly what you mean about not knowing how to NOT be involved. It’s been part of my life – always. But, I’m desiring so much more. There is more! And God will open our eyes to exactly where we should be and what we should be doing.

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