My Saturday was filled with regrets and frustration. Mainly related to me and my ugly reactions and terrible mindsets towards my family. It was a constant battle – on the outside and the inside. I wasn’t happy with how I handled my children and my words with my husband.
So, Day 1 started with me being broken and spilled out before God, asking for help.
There was a line in the Intro of our book that stuck out to me about being broken (pg 9):
“Go home. Lock yourself in your room. Kneel down in the middle of the floor, and with a piece of chalk draw a circle around yourself. There, on your knees, pray fervently and brokenly that God would start a revival within that chalk circle.”
I emptied out all of the dark, ugly, undesirable pieces of me – to Him. I actually laid flat before His presence – without falling alseep, yay!! I spilled out all the parts of me that I don’t want to carry today. I admitted to Him that these things aren’t working. And then, I asked Him to fill all of those spilled out places – with Him. Fill those places with His desires, His reactions, His passions. I want people to be confused when they see and hear me – confused with Jesus.
I love when Day 1 references Moses and him being impatient. Now, mind you, I didn’t go off and kill one of my children or my husband yesterday. I did kill them through my words and reactions. Through my plans and own scheming, I tried to bring relief, just like Moses. But also, just like Moses, I made it unbearable for us all. I tried to make us all get along, and I failed. And we wondered in our own Saturday wilderness as a family.
Today, I’m asking God to take over. I’m not going to do His job for Him. I’m going to keep circling.
Here’s my prayer for our group today:
Lord, I pray for every person that joins in this challenge – to focus on being in Your presence. Don’t let distractions or fear get in the way of our appointments with You. Give us a fresh anointing for our walk with You. Give us a new perspective. Give us words to say to You. Open our eyes to Your ways. Convict us all of what we should do to be more like You. Don’t let us fall into the trap of trying to work life out on our own. Help us see You in the midst of our everyday routine. Lord, mess up our routines. Mess up our perspectives. Mess up our desires, mess up our plans. Do the extraordinary in us. Bring the right people together and help us support one another, uplift each other and seek You, above all.